I have started and stopped and started and stopped and have tried to talk myself out of writing this. Seriously, can it not just go away?
It hasn't.
In my 10th grade class today in the midst of a group activity analyzing character, my students began to chatter about 50 Shades of Grey. Do I engage? Do I ignore? I chose to engage. If not me, who?
Can you imagine the depth of sadness in my heart when I listened as my students were aware of their moms going to this? Can you imagine the depth of despair I had for our world when my students (teenagers!) saw that there was fundamentally a problem with this?
On the other hand, I scroll through twitter and see young girls that I know tweeting about their excitement for this movie to come out? Can you believe the brokenness and confusion when I see that some of these girls are engaged in a semi-local mega church?
Dads and Moms, we are failing. Churches, we are failing.
Dads first...
You are the head of your household. Whether you are a believer in Christ or not, you are the head of your household. Please, guard your ladies' hearts. Remember the time you first held your wife in your arms. Remember how precious that was. Remember how different that was. Remember how pure that way. Remember how you loved her far more than the sex that she had/has to offer. Remember the joy you experienced when you found out you would have a baby. Remember holding that baby in your arms. Dads of girls, remember how you would hold her in your arms and swear you would kill any man that would dare to harm you daughter. Remember? Then kill it. Kill this sin in your home. Guard your daughter from the false teaching that she has to be controlled and "submissive" (in the non-biblical sense) to be loved.
Instead, teach her of Christ and His love for the church. Teach her of the all-surpassing greatness of the King of the Universe and how he has made a way in Christ for her to be a daughter of the most high God. Teach her to love Christ, love His Word, and love His church. Teach her to submit herself to the Lord and pursue Him. Teach her that God cares for her heart more than you or any man ever could. Teach her that God is Jehovah Jireh and He will provide for all her needs. Most importantly, as you do this, pray. Pray for your wife's heart. Pray for your daughter's heart. And pray that God would guard them by His Spirit in the Lord's grace.
Moms...
I beg you, please, for the sake of your daughter watching you, please say no. Please, don't go watch this movie. Don't let this be the book that your daughter sees you reading. Don't let this be the book that she picks up and begins to read and is sucked in only to find that she is finished the book before she even realizes the darkness that has entered her sweet soul. Don't you realize that even though your daughter "hates" you and you "embarrass" her, she is watching your every move. She sees the way you interact with your husband. Or, she sees you and how you handle yourself as a single mom. She desires to see you live rightly. She desires to see how to live purely. She desires for you to love someone greater than yourself who can satisfy more than sex. Moms, please teach your daughter that sex does not gain her the relationship that her heart desires more than anything.
Daughters....
I beg you, please, please don't read it and don't watch the movie. Guard your heart. Please know that it was not God's design for you to be exposed to such things at this age - much more, at any age. God's design is for a marriage that mirrors the relationship between Christ, His Son, and the Church. This type of relationship is pure. The kind of submission that God has outlined in His word is not the kind you will find in the movie. God made it clear when he said through Paul, "Husbands, love your wives as Christ loves His Church and gave himself up for her....Wives, submit to your husbands, as unto the Lord." This is a sacrificial, unconditional love - not a love based on sex games, control, etc.
Please, please, hear me. Despite what culture is telling you, sex does not get you a boyfriend that you want. Sex was designed as a benefit of marriage, not as a way to give a guy what he wants in hopes that you, then, will be good enough. Please, please, hear me. If a man has you do something that you are uncomfortable doing, that is not love. Instead, sweet girl, run to Christ. I know that hole in your heart that desires a man. I know that excitement that you get from this romantic story that our culture tells over and over again. But, can I tell you something? The romantic love story that God writes is so much better. I know that's easy for me to say, right? I'm married. But trust me. I've been in bad relationships. I've been on the wrong side. The story that God has given me was nothing that I chose - it's so much better.
If you read, I'm not judging. Please, Lord, know that I am not judging. But, with tears in my eyes, I'm begging you to "run from evil, and cling to what is good."
It hasn't.
In my 10th grade class today in the midst of a group activity analyzing character, my students began to chatter about 50 Shades of Grey. Do I engage? Do I ignore? I chose to engage. If not me, who?
Can you imagine the depth of sadness in my heart when I listened as my students were aware of their moms going to this? Can you imagine the depth of despair I had for our world when my students (teenagers!) saw that there was fundamentally a problem with this?
On the other hand, I scroll through twitter and see young girls that I know tweeting about their excitement for this movie to come out? Can you believe the brokenness and confusion when I see that some of these girls are engaged in a semi-local mega church?
Dads and Moms, we are failing. Churches, we are failing.
Dads first...
You are the head of your household. Whether you are a believer in Christ or not, you are the head of your household. Please, guard your ladies' hearts. Remember the time you first held your wife in your arms. Remember how precious that was. Remember how different that was. Remember how pure that way. Remember how you loved her far more than the sex that she had/has to offer. Remember the joy you experienced when you found out you would have a baby. Remember holding that baby in your arms. Dads of girls, remember how you would hold her in your arms and swear you would kill any man that would dare to harm you daughter. Remember? Then kill it. Kill this sin in your home. Guard your daughter from the false teaching that she has to be controlled and "submissive" (in the non-biblical sense) to be loved.
Instead, teach her of Christ and His love for the church. Teach her of the all-surpassing greatness of the King of the Universe and how he has made a way in Christ for her to be a daughter of the most high God. Teach her to love Christ, love His Word, and love His church. Teach her to submit herself to the Lord and pursue Him. Teach her that God cares for her heart more than you or any man ever could. Teach her that God is Jehovah Jireh and He will provide for all her needs. Most importantly, as you do this, pray. Pray for your wife's heart. Pray for your daughter's heart. And pray that God would guard them by His Spirit in the Lord's grace.
Moms...
I beg you, please, for the sake of your daughter watching you, please say no. Please, don't go watch this movie. Don't let this be the book that your daughter sees you reading. Don't let this be the book that she picks up and begins to read and is sucked in only to find that she is finished the book before she even realizes the darkness that has entered her sweet soul. Don't you realize that even though your daughter "hates" you and you "embarrass" her, she is watching your every move. She sees the way you interact with your husband. Or, she sees you and how you handle yourself as a single mom. She desires to see you live rightly. She desires to see how to live purely. She desires for you to love someone greater than yourself who can satisfy more than sex. Moms, please teach your daughter that sex does not gain her the relationship that her heart desires more than anything.
Daughters....
I beg you, please, please don't read it and don't watch the movie. Guard your heart. Please know that it was not God's design for you to be exposed to such things at this age - much more, at any age. God's design is for a marriage that mirrors the relationship between Christ, His Son, and the Church. This type of relationship is pure. The kind of submission that God has outlined in His word is not the kind you will find in the movie. God made it clear when he said through Paul, "Husbands, love your wives as Christ loves His Church and gave himself up for her....Wives, submit to your husbands, as unto the Lord." This is a sacrificial, unconditional love - not a love based on sex games, control, etc.
Please, please, hear me. Despite what culture is telling you, sex does not get you a boyfriend that you want. Sex was designed as a benefit of marriage, not as a way to give a guy what he wants in hopes that you, then, will be good enough. Please, please, hear me. If a man has you do something that you are uncomfortable doing, that is not love. Instead, sweet girl, run to Christ. I know that hole in your heart that desires a man. I know that excitement that you get from this romantic story that our culture tells over and over again. But, can I tell you something? The romantic love story that God writes is so much better. I know that's easy for me to say, right? I'm married. But trust me. I've been in bad relationships. I've been on the wrong side. The story that God has given me was nothing that I chose - it's so much better.
If you read, I'm not judging. Please, Lord, know that I am not judging. But, with tears in my eyes, I'm begging you to "run from evil, and cling to what is good."
1 comment:
Well written friend. My heart pleads the same.
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