Faith Without Borders

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders

Let me walk upon the waters

Wherever You would all me

Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander

And my faith will be made stronger

In the presence of my Savior

                                     ~ "Oceans" by Hillsong

Last night I went to the gym for my normal workout. Little did I know the Lord would use that hour to quiet my soul and speak to me. About 45 minutes into the workout, this song came on. I was just singing and lifting along until the bridge played and the Lord silenced me. There I stood toning my arms with tears coming to my eyes. I know this maybe sounds cliche but the Lord challenged me. Could I really sing this song? Could I really sing this bridge? Lord, can I really say take me where my trust is without borders? Really, Lord, really? 

With everything in me, I want to say, "Yes." Oh, do I want to say, "Yes." But instead there I finished my workout in silence unable to kick those words out of my mind.

Lord, what would that look like?

Would that mean that I uproot my family and move somewhere distant from all family and friends? 

Or would that mean that we stay and continue doing ministry here?

Would that mean giving up my job?

Would that mean that you send us to a foreign country like some of our other friends?

Would that mean that you send us into dangerous territory where there are bombings and other life threatening situations like some of our friends?

Would that mean that we would lose our sweet baby like some of our friends?

Would that mean being arrested for spreading your word? We know some of those people too.

Would that mean one of our lives being taken?

You see, even in asking those questions I have already shown that my faith is not strong. I want answers. I want to know what may happen. And to be honest, I fear some of those things. 

But what is fear? Hasn't God conquered that fear in Christ? He sent Christ to die and take on His full wrath that I deserve. This should be the only thing to be feared, and God in Christ has satisfied it.

So what is this other stuff? This is my humanity. This is my fear. This is my desire to have my family, to be comfortable, to have things "easy." Honestly, who doesn't want those things? But for those things to get in the way of my trust in the Lord is the problem.

You see, faith without borders can't be restricted in my perfect little picture of a family living in a small town where everybody knows your name. Faith without borders can't be okay as long as I have given my stamp of approval. Faith without borders can't be me deciding anything. 

Faith without borders is where we are. Now. 

We would have never imagined being where we are at this stage in our lives, but we know that God has an awesome plan. We know this because he has sustained us during this time. Although sometimes my heart wants to break for what we have been through the past few months, the Lord reminds me that he's got this.

So back to the song .... I'm still not sure I'm "comfortable" singing those words, but with a deep breath I cling to God's sweet, sustaining grace and say...

"I will call upon your name

And keep my eyes above the waves

When oceans rise

My soul will rest in Your embrace

For I am yours and You are mine."

Playing with Hacking

Keith Neal

Thankfulness in the Midst of Struggle

I'd be lying if I said we weren't struggling right now. Our hearts are often heavy. Our eyes are weary. I watch my husband work endless hours days and nights. Our future is uncertain, but I'm thankful.

I'm thankful for this uncertainty. I'm thankful that the Lord has used this uncertainty to expose how sinful my heart is, how dependent I want to be on myself and my husband, and how, when left with nothing more than my impure thoughts, I'm forced to go back to the cross and surrender.

My heart is refreshed with these echoing words in my heart:

"Nothing in my hand I bring,
Simply to Thy cross I cling;
Naked, come to Thee for dress;
Helpless, look to Thee for grace;
Foul, I to the fountain fly, --
Wash me, Savior, or I die!"   ~ Rock of Ages

As we anticipate the arrival of our daughter in the next few days, we are humbly thankful for this gift of grace that he's given to us. We are thankful that he has entrusted to us the greatest ministry we could have - in our home, raising our daughter to be a true worshiper of the One true God. We are grateful for the opportunity to pray for her - to pray that the King of all the universe would make her heart his own, to pray for her a godly husband (yes, we've been praying this), and to pray that she would be used by God in mighty ways.

In light of one of the biggest changes we may ever face in our lives coming any day now, we rest in our sovereign Creator who does all things well and so that His glory would be known over all the earth. So despite the uncertainty that lies elsewhere in our lives, we will rejoice and choose to rest in our good God who is intimately involved with His creation.

Yes, nothing in my hands I bring, simply to the cross I cling.

May God hide us behind the cross as He acts mightily in our lives and in the lives of those around us.

Thoughts from January...

So in the recent events, the Lord has been kind to bring passages of Scripture to mind that remind me of the hope we have in Christ and brings me great comfort in the God that we serve who is omniscient, omnipotent, sovereign over all things, intimately involved in His creation, and always faithful.

62 

For God alone my soul waits in silence;

    from him comes my salvation.

2 

He alone is my rock and my salvation,

    my fortress; I shall not be greatly shaken.

The first two verses are what plays in my mind over and over again. As I sat in silence yesterday blogging with Michael sick on the couch I was reminded that God alone is my rock and my salvation. He is the One that I need to wait on and trust even in the darkest, most unclear situations in my life. Sometimes that's extremely hard, but I'm already thankful for this time in our lives because he has already renewed a new level of hope and trusting that I had self-sufficiently denied or pridefully (although I would never blatantly say this) thought I did not need. However, my sinful, prideful heart could not lead me further from the truth. It is God alone whom I will trust in as I trust in Him for my salvation. In that hope of the truth of the Gospel, I will stand firm in the fullness of his lavished grace that He has extended to me in Christ.

3 How long will all of you attack a man
    to batter him,
    like a leaning wall, a tottering fence?
4 They only plan to thrust him down from his high position.
    They take pleasure in falsehood.
They bless with their mouths,
    but inwardly they curse. Selah

5 For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence,
    for my hope is from him.
6 He only is my rock and my salvation,
    my fortress; I shall not be shaken.
7 On God rests my salvation and my glory;
    my mighty rock, my refuge is God.

8 Trust in him at all times, O people;
    pour out your heart before him;
    God is a refuge for us. Selah

9 Those of low estate are but a breath;
    those of high estate are a delusion;
in the balances they go up;
    they are together lighter than a breath.
10 Put no trust in extortion;
    set no vain hopes on robbery;
    if riches increase, set not your heart on them.

11 Once God has spoken;
    twice have I heard this:
that power belongs to God,
12     and that to you, O Lord, belongs steadfast love.
For you will render to a man
    according to his work.