Thankfulness in the Midst of Struggle

I'd be lying if I said we weren't struggling right now. Our hearts are often heavy. Our eyes are weary. I watch my husband work endless hours days and nights. Our future is uncertain, but I'm thankful.

I'm thankful for this uncertainty. I'm thankful that the Lord has used this uncertainty to expose how sinful my heart is, how dependent I want to be on myself and my husband, and how, when left with nothing more than my impure thoughts, I'm forced to go back to the cross and surrender.

My heart is refreshed with these echoing words in my heart:

"Nothing in my hand I bring,
Simply to Thy cross I cling;
Naked, come to Thee for dress;
Helpless, look to Thee for grace;
Foul, I to the fountain fly, --
Wash me, Savior, or I die!"   ~ Rock of Ages

As we anticipate the arrival of our daughter in the next few days, we are humbly thankful for this gift of grace that he's given to us. We are thankful that he has entrusted to us the greatest ministry we could have - in our home, raising our daughter to be a true worshiper of the One true God. We are grateful for the opportunity to pray for her - to pray that the King of all the universe would make her heart his own, to pray for her a godly husband (yes, we've been praying this), and to pray that she would be used by God in mighty ways.

In light of one of the biggest changes we may ever face in our lives coming any day now, we rest in our sovereign Creator who does all things well and so that His glory would be known over all the earth. So despite the uncertainty that lies elsewhere in our lives, we will rejoice and choose to rest in our good God who is intimately involved with His creation.

Yes, nothing in my hands I bring, simply to the cross I cling.

May God hide us behind the cross as He acts mightily in our lives and in the lives of those around us.

Thoughts from January...

So in the recent events, the Lord has been kind to bring passages of Scripture to mind that remind me of the hope we have in Christ and brings me great comfort in the God that we serve who is omniscient, omnipotent, sovereign over all things, intimately involved in His creation, and always faithful.

62 

For God alone my soul waits in silence;

    from him comes my salvation.

2 

He alone is my rock and my salvation,

    my fortress; I shall not be greatly shaken.

The first two verses are what plays in my mind over and over again. As I sat in silence yesterday blogging with Michael sick on the couch I was reminded that God alone is my rock and my salvation. He is the One that I need to wait on and trust even in the darkest, most unclear situations in my life. Sometimes that's extremely hard, but I'm already thankful for this time in our lives because he has already renewed a new level of hope and trusting that I had self-sufficiently denied or pridefully (although I would never blatantly say this) thought I did not need. However, my sinful, prideful heart could not lead me further from the truth. It is God alone whom I will trust in as I trust in Him for my salvation. In that hope of the truth of the Gospel, I will stand firm in the fullness of his lavished grace that He has extended to me in Christ.

3 How long will all of you attack a man
    to batter him,
    like a leaning wall, a tottering fence?
4 They only plan to thrust him down from his high position.
    They take pleasure in falsehood.
They bless with their mouths,
    but inwardly they curse. Selah

5 For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence,
    for my hope is from him.
6 He only is my rock and my salvation,
    my fortress; I shall not be shaken.
7 On God rests my salvation and my glory;
    my mighty rock, my refuge is God.

8 Trust in him at all times, O people;
    pour out your heart before him;
    God is a refuge for us. Selah

9 Those of low estate are but a breath;
    those of high estate are a delusion;
in the balances they go up;
    they are together lighter than a breath.
10 Put no trust in extortion;
    set no vain hopes on robbery;
    if riches increase, set not your heart on them.

11 Once God has spoken;
    twice have I heard this:
that power belongs to God,
12     and that to you, O Lord, belongs steadfast love.
For you will render to a man
    according to his work.

A Song for You

Dear Sweet Baby,

Long before you were forming in my belly, a song came out by one of your mom and dad's favorite groups - Shane and Shane. The first time I heard the song, I wept. I wept because of the truth the the song holds and I wept because I longed to one day be able to share this with you. Although the song is written for a girl, we do not know if you are a girl or a boy yet, but the message stays the same. Our desire and our prayer for you daily is that you would come to know Christ as your Savior and that you would grow in a personal relationship with him. So for now, here's the lyrics for The One You Need by Shane and Shane:

Hey hey sweet daughter

I am so proud to be your father

Each day is like a gift from God

Hey hey sweet daughter

There's no music like your laughter

And your smile is like a rising sun

You know I loved you from the start

So come in close

Take my hand for daddy shares his heart

I wish that I could be your everything

Be the one to give you all the things you need

Sometimes I'm gonna let you down

But there's someone if you just believe

Be your hero like He's always been for me

Darling, Jesus is the one you need

No matter what you walk through

He will always love you just the way you are

For there's nothing in this world

That I'd walk for my baby girl

That she'll be happy ever after

The story of your life is still untold

I pray the King of all the Universe

Would make your heart His own

I wish that I could be your everything

Be the one to give you all the things you need

Sometimes I'm gonna let you down

But there's someone if you just believe

Be your hero like He's always been for me

Darling, Jesus is the one

Who will never leave

He's been there all along

All ready You can find to love

I wish that I could be your everything

Be the one to give you all the things you need

Sometimes I'm gonna let you down

But there's someone if you just believe

Be your hero like He's always been for me

Darling, Jesus is the one you need

• Writer(s): Shane Everett, Shane Barnard, Jason Ingram
  Copyright: Windsor Hill Music, Sony/ATV Timber Publishing, West Main Music
  Lyrics powered by www.musiXmatch.com

Sweet Baby, we pray that the King of all the Universe would make your heart His own - that's all that matters.

We love you enough to tell you we're not it - 

Mom (and Dad)

For readers, if you want to listen you can find it here The One You Need

The news is out...

Dear Sweet Baby,

The news is finally out! Your mom is relieved. I am grateful that I have not been sick or else our little secret would have been much harder to keep. I'm so thankful everyone knows about you now! People are so excited. Your extended family is eagerly awaiting your arrival and your church family rejoiced at our news this Sunday. On the back of our Christmas card to everyone, we included a sweet verse from James 1:

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.

We do believe that you are a good and perfect gift. We also acknowledge that you are given to us as an act of grace from God our Father. We see that He is already using you to not only cause us to grow closer together, but to also bring us into a new level of intimacy and dependence upon Him. Oh are we ever so grateful. 

We love you sweet baby and pray for you daily,

Your mommy (and daddy)

Our First Glimpse of You

Dear Sweet Baby,

We saw you today and you are beautiful, perfect, wonderfully created by God. At one point during the ultrasound, you caused me to giggle the way you were wiggling around in there. When I giggled, you bent your knees and did a tiny little jump up and down. Your little movements that the Lord allowed us to see today made your mommy so excited! We are so thankful for the wonderful gift the Lord has given to us and we can't wait to actually get to hold you instead of seeing you through an ultrasound, but hey, we'll take what we get for now. Let's share your cute little self with everyone. At this point not many know about you, but you are oh so very much loved.

Excited to see you,

Mom (and Dad)

Our sweet little baby!

Everything looks perfect! You measured at 12 weeks and 3 days. 

You gave us a little way just to make sure we were watching!

You can see your little hands and feet.

This is your mom's least favorite picture.
Thanks for looking at us, but at this point you look a little like an alien.

This is when we got to hear your little heart beat for the very first time.

Your heart rate is 175bpm.

Baby White 

Your Grandparents and Aunt Jada Are Expecting You

Dear Sweet Baby, 

When we got home from our confirmation appointment yesterday, your dad and I had planned on telling your grandparents and your Aunt Jada. We had been planning exactly how to tell them all at the same time for weeks! We finally came up with this idea and it worked perfectly!

All the messages are ready to go!

The packages are ready to go!

Within an hour (except for Jada who was out of town for something?) we had heard from all your grandparents! They are so excited! You will no doubt be both a Tarheels fan and a Gamecocks fan. Some will ask you how that works, and you can kindly let them know that it works in perfect harmony for your parents! We love you and now you are loved by five more who will surely spoil you!

We love our little Tarheels and Gamecocks fan!

Your mom and dad :-)

Our first appointment

Dear Sweet Baby,

Today we went to confirm that you are indeed growing inside of my body. Surprise, Surprise, you are! I am nauseous most days all day, but I have found some help. I have been wearing Sea-bands for less than a week now and I think they are helping. I know you're not making me queasy, but your dad still talks to you every morning and instructs you to not make me feel sick! I love that he binds down and talks to you before I go out the door. You have an awesome dad already and I cannot wait until you are able to be in his arms. Keep growing sweet baby and we will see you at our next appointment.

Loving you,

Mommy (and Daddy)