Wednesday, August 17, 2016

In Memory of Tonya and Kyle...

I wrote the following Thursday morning on the airplane coming back from Colorado. Thoughts prevented me from sleeping...

Many poets in history believed that the only way for someone to live on and be remembered was through writing about that person. (Although in this case we are confident that Kyle and Tonya live on in the presence of God.) But it seems right to attempt to put my thoughts into words, knowing that they are scarcely worthy of the precious lives that no longer live in what is temporal.

In the spring semester of 2011 I met Kyle for the first time. I'll never forget the big, goofy smile of a braces-filled mouth that entered my class that semester. I'll never forget where he sat in my classroom—right in front of my desk. I'll never forget that goofy laugh that preceded his visible presence. This kid I loved! He made me smile. He made me roll my eyes—I'm sure—on numerous occasions because, after all, you can't laugh about everything! Or can you? Thinking back, I recall how that laugh was eventually tamed by his maturity and inquiring mind. And then after my time as his teacher, I found him visiting. He would spend breaks and after school sitting atop one of my desks just chatting about life. Conversations led to him attending youth at our church, and there Kyle not only became one of my “kids,” but also my husband’s. Kyle was eager to grow in the Lord and come to understand the grace of God in Christ. His questions led to growth in the Lord and humble service both to his immediate family and everyone around him. I replay late nights sharing meals with him at Cookout on top of the hours this boy spent in our home. From countless hours of community service to dance-off competitions to Just Dance in our living room (yes, there are videos!), I would never have imagined I’d now be writing this. And gosh, he helped us assemble our closet insert when I was way too pregnant to be doing it. (He stayed almost the whole night helping us.) Typing this doesn’t make his absence any more real than before I started writing; he was such a part of our lives for that season. My heart is broken.

Kyle’s faithfulness to our church at the time ultimately led his family there as well. And that's where Tonya comes in. I met Tonya when I had Kyle in class, but didn't have the privilege of really knowing her until a few years later. Her smile was contagious and her laugh filled the room. As a young momma, I loved talking to her. I loved her being real with me, encouraging me, and just dropping by as I managed a newborn, so that I wouldn't have to be at home by myself for a few hours. Tears fill my eyes as I recall her coming over just after Kinleigh was born. I know she and Kyle brought food, or beer bread mix (which I probably still have, since mine is never as good as hers!), or something, but that's not what I remember about that night. I remember her sitting there assuring me that I was okay as a new mom. I remember her talking to me about life and her experiences raising Kyle and now four more. I remember her dying to get her hands on Kinleigh—and she did. :) She held her with such love and grace and comforted her with the bounce only experienced mommas know. I remember countless nights out under the picnic shelter after church just girl chatting with the other ladies. These are priceless moments for a young momma's heart. I remember sitting with her and the family as her momma battled cancer and we were there to celebrate when her momma beat it. I remember how much love filled the room and how close she and her sister were. Her love and dedication to her family was rare and obvious.

One of my fondest and sweetest moments with the Curtis family came when the boys were asking questions about the gospel, and Jerry and Tonya asked us to come and talk with Cole and Austin. Tonya wanted to be sure that all their questions were answered and she wanted them to, once they placed faith in Christ, to be assured of their salvation. She understood the importance of the gospel and how, if truly encountered, it would rock their world. She wanted them to know that when they believed in Christ it was a forever change in their hearts and that nothing would separate them from Christ. Such joy filled conversation that night! How Tonya desired for her boys to know Christ!

Kyle and Tonya, in those years it was just the two of you I know you never would have imagined you would take your final breath on earth together. In a way I see it as such sweet grace from the Lord. Tonya, Kyle loved you so much. He thought the world of you. He admired you as a hard worker, a money manager, and as the rock of the family. Kyle, you know how much she loved you. You were her little man! You two were so close! I always admired your relationship and pray for the same that with our kids. Ending this post seems to make it real in my mind. Were it to remain unfinished, then it might be untrue. But it is. I can't imagine what life without you two looks like for your family and friends, because you were loved by so many. But of this one thing I’m sure: Christ has given you the promise of life and you two are seeing that fully and completely. Worship and enjoy the presence of our great God forevermore, till we meet again.